Monday, May 24, 2010

The Ranting Teenager Randomly Muses.

Ok. The Ranting Teenager is going through an identity crisis and can't think clearly about anything.
Thus, she will talk in third person about herself because it feels very Gaga, and she will link you to a rant she read through a link on Feministing that reflects some of her thoughts:

Dear Eighth Grade Boys

So. Ranting Teenager doesn't quiet know what to think about casual touching. That is, when a guy goes up to a girl and grabs her ass/boobs, and laughs if she dares get offended about it. And says she's a slut when she doesn't.
That is obviously really unrespectful of the girl, of her body and her personal space. It is also normalized behavior that happens continuosly, every day, everywhere, and which everyone seems to think is nice & cute.

A classmate of  the Ranting Teenager's got mad at a guy who grabbed her butt. So she told the teacher about it, and he just said that she and the guy should keep quiet and listen.
Which is not the appropriate response to sexual harassing. A light form of sexual harassing, yes, but still.

On the other side, the Ranting Teenager funnily finds herself wanting a certain guy to touch her this way. This guy, let's call him B, has in fact bothered her very much with his previous touching around. So she had a couple of "talks" with him and he eventually stopped.
At which point Ranting Teenager regretted him stopping, but not really wanted him to start again.
So she got mad at herself for thinking in such weird ways, then found that being angry at oneself doesn't help at all. So she tried to explain her feelings.

But she couldn't.
She wondered if it could be love, then concluded it couldn't, because B didn't have one redeeming trait that could make her appreciate him. And besides, he was already classified as jerk because of his previous behavior.
She wondered if it could be simple physical attraction, but concluded it couldn't be that either, since B really really didn't fit her image of beauty.

Seeing as there was neither inner nor outer attraction, yet there was still desire to be touched, Ranting Teenager was left feeling very very confused.
Then she decided to dedicate herself to studying history, which was something she needed to do.
But since history was boring, and besides everyone has the same names in ancient Rome, she decided to go back to her blog, which she hadn't updated for a long time due to drought of ideas and inability to write, not to mention slow internet connection.

Thus she wrote this post which she is now contemplating cancelling, but which she will probably not cancel.
Also, she has discovered the greatness of Lady Gaga, who has stolen her soul. So The Ranting Teenager doesn't really exist now, she is just a Gagafied walking zombie who doen't know what to do.

6 comments:

  1. Well. There's really only ONE thing you can do -- Stop overworking your LadyBrain so much. Relax, EVERYONE -- well almost everyone -- does like being touched that way. Even if the person once called you a Minne Mouse Four Eyes. It's kind of imprinted in out LadyDNA.

    The good news is, it goes away when you truly remind yourself of just HOW satisfied patriarchy would be to see you conform. Only by then you're 98. Being grown-up SUCKS.

    ~ Jaded16.
    (Don't knock. Jaded16 is always home)

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  2. I agree with Jade16. You're overthinking this way too much. B is in an idiot; and believe me I concluded by halfway through high school that all guys were. I waited until I was in the workforce to find any one person who didn't act like their children's shoe size.
    High school will be a tough time for anyone. But if you just ignore him, you will truly find your inner self; and it's beautiful (most guys can't see it until it's too late).

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  3. Did he ever touch you? If not that could be why.
    Now before you think I want to explain.
    Its not about wanting him or wanting to be touched, its probably about wanting to be desiered.
    EVERYONE (man and woman) wants to feel like they are wanted, loved, attractive. If he never harrassed you (even though your glad) in the back of your mind (without even realizing it) you might be thinking "why? Am I not pretty enough to be harassed? Am I not desireable?"
    I remember once there were a group of girls talking (practically bragging) that they had stalkers. After a while I started thinking...How come I dont have a stalker? How come I dont get hit on (even if its in a gross way)? Am I ugly?
    Then I realized wtf I was thinking. And I decided I was LUCKY not to have those things happen to me (though I still felt kind of ugly).

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  4. I agree, if that helps at all. I don't think it's a bad thing to want to be hit on, or something like that. B is a jerk, the teachers should have realized this. Nevertheless, it's nice that he stopped. If you, in some part of your brain liked this, that's fine, I think. Even though it's difficult, try to not over think this, and instead realize that the liking is OK, and the abuse will likely stop here.

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  6. First of all, it's not abnormal to want to be touched in certain ways. Welcome to adulthood!

    But what about wanting to be touched by a guy you hate? First off, our bodies secrete chemicals called pheromones, and our sex pheromones basically carry information about our fertility. Scientists have carried out experiments involving putting pheromones on bathroom stall doors or t-shirts then counting how many men went into each stall or having women smell the t-shirts and rate how hot she thought the guy who wore them was. Such experiments showed that we have an incredibly strong subconscious tendency to most like the pheromones of people with whom we'd produce the most healthy offspring (who then would be most likely to pass our genes to the next generation - yay evolutionary biology!).

    So, basically, one possible explanation for your confusion regarding B is that although you rightly despise him, your body is just reminding you that he'd father strong, healthy children.

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